Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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