I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
