I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Vodka?
Forever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
