So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
