WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
