i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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