You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
