NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize