Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
