I'm jealous of your bromance
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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