he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
