In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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