Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
