i may or may not be watching the land before time
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize