great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
