at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He shit in the fireplace
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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