This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize