If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize