I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
