I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
