note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
