just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased