Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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  (816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb
  Replies (29) Good night (832) Bad night (4865)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

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  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2294) Bad night (8081)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.

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  (804): Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures. http://tfl.nu/ds3n
  Replies (3) Good night (3277) Bad night (818)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

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  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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  (480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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  (917): And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body http://tfl.nu/ilms
  Replies (13) Good night (895) Bad night (2686)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

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  (401): just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point. http://tfl.nu/mbzv
  Replies (10) Good night (2057) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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  (703): if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless http://tfl.nu/r1y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  (203): If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi. (518): So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits? http://tfl.nu/jsif
  Replies (36) Good night (4903) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3769) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  fuck our hall.

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  (517): the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story. (1-517): fuck our hall. http://tfl.nu/9mns
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.

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  (509): No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry. http://tfl.nu/k8f0
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."

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  (785): Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk." http://tfl.nu/6oxw
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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  (956): I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vvm8
  Replies (8) Good night (285) Bad night (780)
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  (916): View more from California

  I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats

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  (916): I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats http://tfl.nu/tjrl
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (198)

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