i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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