Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (2197) Bad night (4761)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game

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  (864): we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6o4z
  Replies (36) Good night (7367) Bad night (716)
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  (619): View more from California

  She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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  (619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj
  Replies (31) Good night (1037) Bad night (7494)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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  (732): im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor http://tfl.nu/d5hx
  Replies (18) Good night (4629) Bad night (959)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.

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  (503): Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously. http://tfl.nu/epia
  Replies (10) Good night (863) Bad night (5341)
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  (951): View more from California

  His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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  (951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8
  Replies (12) Good night (5809) Bad night (1055)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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  (902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz
  Replies (11) Good night (5475) Bad night (958)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3414) Bad night (1103)
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  (315): View more from New York

  See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday

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  (315): See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday http://tfl.nu/kg71
  Replies (8) Good night (2775) Bad night (1729)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

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  (713): You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress". http://tfl.nu/1fwn
  Replies (3) Good night (1369) Bad night (657)
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  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1973) Bad night (653)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (654) Bad night (1069)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.

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  (224): I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog. http://tfl.nu/7iet
  Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (415)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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  (361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (414)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck

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  (215): it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck http://tfl.nu/odm7
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (316)

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