Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.

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  (703): While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens. http://tfl.nu/2i4o
  Replies (19) Good night (3356) Bad night (597)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.

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  (402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide. http://tfl.nu/s8ub
  Replies (5) Good night (3799) Bad night (541)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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  (360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c
  Replies (10) Good night (3875) Bad night (821)
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  (619): View more from California

  do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.

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  (619): do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big. http://tfl.nu/tgfw
  Replies (9) Good night (4206) Bad night (1633)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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  (508): the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party http://tfl.nu/wsii
  Replies (30) Good night (5971) Bad night (1049)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.

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  (315): Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise. http://tfl.nu/jq04
  Replies (8) Good night (4453) Bad night (1444)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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  (904): she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room... http://tfl.nu/wehm
  Replies (8) Good night (3174) Bad night (1144)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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  (+31): bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left. http://tfl.nu/sy8j
  Replies (18) Good night (1456) Bad night (6451)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5804) Bad night (1838)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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  (910): Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now. http://tfl.nu/pjno
  Replies (9) Good night (542) Bad night (2032)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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  (563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (690)
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  (818): View more from California

  end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin

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  (818): end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin http://tfl.nu/ky3g
  Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (371)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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  (812): I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land http://tfl.nu/d4a5
  Replies (10) Good night (1235) Bad night (332)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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  (703): Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate. http://tfl.nu/y8op
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (235)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...

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  (717): You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat... http://tfl.nu/k4we
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (345)

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