I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed