$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
