He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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