My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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