It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize