He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
