when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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