Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
