it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
