3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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