wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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