he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
