It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
