you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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