Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
