So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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