Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
