Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
