If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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