11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This is the high leading the old right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
