Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
