Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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