I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
either way he was missing a nipple.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
