Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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