Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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