big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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