I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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