Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
