Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
