If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
