one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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