you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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