I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
