Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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