i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
