I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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